The Five Stages of Grief

The Allen twist...

Stage One: Denial. As in, "Not being able to breathe is no reason to go to the hospital."

Stage Two: Acceptance. No one would be entirely shocked and if the person chose to stop suffering, how could you hold it against them?

Stage Three: Laughter. What isn't funny when you are sleep deprived?

Stage Four: Bargaining. Not necessarily for ourselves. As in, "If you get better, Whitney will have a baby."

Stage Five: Dibs. As in, "I get the Kindle!" Really, I do. It has my sticker on it.