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I really don't think there is anyone out there reading this, which is totally okay. I am really writing it for my own benefit. But, if you are out there, anyone, leave a comment so I know you are here. =)

Be Fruitful, Multiply, and Subdue the Earth - Joseph W. Sitati

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/be-fruitful-multiply-and-subdue-the-earth?lang=eng


I hesitated this morning when I saw the title for the next conference talk. I thought about skipping it. I have multiplied and been fruitful. My fruits woke me up at seven this morning. That's how I know I've done my part. Any more fruits and I would be a nut. Get it? Cause I'd be insane. =) Four fruits are all my sanity can handle.I didn't want to hear about having children. I've already done my part. Nevertheless, I went ahead and read the talk.

I was actually surprised to find it wasn't about having kids at all. Elder Sitati takes a lovely interpretation of the command to be fruitful. He takes it to mean the fruit of our labors, rather than the fruit of our loins. He talks about going about doing good and having charity one with another. He also speaks of missionary work, though he doesn't come right out with it, but leads us there instead. "All of us can and should become fully engaged in the work of salvation. The Savior has given us the following responsibility with a promise: “I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit". I guess it makes sense that the greatest charity we can have is to care enough to bring others to the Gospel. This also makes me think of temple work. He doesn't talk about it, but bringing people to the Gospel isn't something we just do here.

I don't feel that I am well equipped to bring people into the church. I don't have a wide network of friends and I am not great at speaking publicly. I am rather shy with people with whom I am not comfortable. But I can do temple work. I can do Family History work. If the worth of all souls is great, I can bring the ones who have already passed and "great shall be my joy", right?

There really isn't another way to interpret "multiply". It is what it is. Heavenly Father wants us to have children. His sacred work can't go forth without the opportunity for all of His spirit children to come to earth and experience it. He says the best way for souls to get the most out of their earth experience is through good parents. A man and a woman who love each other. I may have already had my children, but that doesn't mean I am done with this work. I have to be a good parent to them and a good wife to Kyle. There is always room for improvement.

Subdue the Earth was a tricky part. I didn't really understand it the first time and had to re-read the section. The second time I understood. It isn't actually about subduing the Earth, it's about learning to live in it. We face challenges and temptations everyday. Our technology increases those temptations exponentially, by putting them at our fingertips. Subduing the Earth is really about overcoming the natural man. Becoming a master of oneself allows us to be in the world and not a slave to it.

In the end this talk was a wonderful surprise. I didn't know there was more to the command to be fruitful. I am still working on getting my act together in terms of visiting teaching and fulfilling my callings. Maybe keeping this in mind will help me.

The Sabbath is a Delight- Russell M. Nelson

  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-sabbath-is-a-delight?lang=eng


   I didn't have a particular topic in mind this morning, so I chose to go to the most recent conference and start there. I have listened to all of these talks however, and the first ones more than the last. And so the last came first.
   There has been a lot of talk about the Sabbath recently. A lot of emphasis is being given to keeping the Sabbath and to Sabbath day activities. In the spirit of transparency, I will you tell you what a typical Sunday looks like around here: We get up and scramble to get read for church. Or we don't. I can't make this fully transparent without admitting to the occasional lack of drive in the morning. If we've had a particularly late Saturday night, we may roll over and keep on sleeping. Not often. But sometimes.
   Once we are ready we pile in and go to church. In sacrament meeting we wrestle our four children into behaving. Does it work? No. Do I get to hear the messages? Rarely. After closing prayer, the kids run off to primary and I head to my favorite part of church. Nursery, where I drop Lily off. A great feeling of relief comes over me and I collapse into a chair in Gospel Doctrine. Next to my husband. In the corner. Where we both play on our phones for the next hour. Sometimes we'll participate in the discussion or read a scripture, but for the most part I just don't know what is being talked about. Probably because I am not trying very hard.
   Relief Society goes one of two ways: if I am sitting next to a chatty woman, I spend the hour listening to her instead of the lesson. If I am by myself I am probably on my phone still. Giving myself some credit here, Relief Society is actually where I listen the most. I generally like the lessons and Spirit of the class.
  Once home we make nachos for lunch and eat them while watching a recorded episode of the Tonight Show. Pretty sure that isn't what Elder Nelson has in mind in terms of Sabbath worship. Next we'll go our separate ways. Kids will watch a movie upstairs, and we'll watch TV downstairs or in our room. If it's football season, Kyle will watch football and I'll take a nap. I can't even pretend I will be changing the napping part. It isn't going to happen. Best part of the Sabbath.
   Elder Nelson asks if the Sabbath is truly a delight in our homes. Is it? I don't think so. It's kind of an excuse to be lazy, because we can't go anywhere. So, how do I change that? Not just for me, but for my family. He goes on to talk about a few things we can be doing to make it count. One was teaching our children. I actually did this on Sunday. Not that I spent a great deal of time on it, but we are working towards Adam's Faith in God award, so we talked a little bit about the articles of faith. We can do family history. Third is quality family time. I like the non-specificity of that. Perhaps quality time to us is taking a nap in the same room, or watching a movie together. I kind of think he means a little more bonding type activities,
   Last was service. I have a hard time with this idea. I don't like Kyle leaving to do Home Teaching on a Sunday. I think anything that pulls him away from us on a day off isn't necessarily good. However, I was talking to Kyle about how we could get our Home and Visiting teaching done together. I was wondering if we all went in the car together to visit our families, if it would work. Maybe just being in the car would give our kids the vision of their parents serving and caring for others. And we could involve them before hand in making a treat or a hand out. I don't know. I am still workshopping that idea.
  In closing, at the beginning of the talk, Elder Nelson said he had an easy time figuring if an activity was Sunday appropriate by asking himself one question: "What sign do I want to give to God?" Do I want him to see that my own laziness is more important than the one day he asks be devoted to Him? If I can't spend one day doing what He asks of me, can I expect Him to answer my prayers? I ask a lot of my Heavenly Father, I'd hate for Him to treat me the way I sometimes treat Him. Maybe my Sundays need a makeover.

Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority- Richard G. Scott

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/make-the-exercise-of-faith-your-first-priority?lang=eng#watch=video


I began this journey with a hope of doing better by my own testimony. However, any mother can tell you that if she is not doing all the nuances of her discipleship, it is likely she is failing in her stewardship of her children. I carry a lot of mom guilt. It isn't just the natural feelings of not doing enough, that all mothers carry. I'm actually a pretty lazy person and my mom guilt is totally deserved. My kids wear their everyday clothes to bed because I know if they wear pajamas every night, my laundry load doubles. Are you understanding my motherhood yet?

Relief Society yesterday was, of course, on the Sacred Calling of Mothers. I love the way these things are worded. We get "The Sacred Calling of Mothers" and the men get "Father, Consider Your Ways." Moms are put on such a pedestal for all we do, but sometimes, I think we need the hash wording reserved for fathers. Maybe that is just me. Maybe there should be a lesson titled, "Christina, Consider Your Ways!" Exclamation point.

This lesson, by Ezra Taft Benson outlines 10 things mothers (and fathers) need to be doing. Ten specific ways I am failing. Man, I love church some days. So, when considering what talk I wanted to read this morning, I focused on one particular failure of mine: Family Home Evening. It's not that we don't ever have FHE, but our batting average is around .100. So, I went to lds.org and searched for conference talks on Family Home Evening. This talk by Richard G. Scott was the most recent one that came up, so he's my winner.



   I knew from the title of this talk that it was going to be a little bit more stern, I like that. I need some sternness in my life. He starts by talking about the Fall of Adam and Eve and how opposition in all things came to be and how it is necessary for our happiness. While interesting, I had no idea how this applied to the principle I was trying to study and I'll be honest, my eyes glazed over a bit. He talked about challenges and how life is hard. We came to be tested and made strong. We know these things. We've heard them since primary. I guess repetition is good for the soul. He brought me back by saying "Our Father in Heaven has given us tools to help us come unto Christ and exercise faith in His Atonement. When these tools become fundamental habits, they provide the easiest way to find peace in the challenges of mortality."

   Okay, so now I see the tie in. We are going to talk about exercising faith as a way to meet the challenges we will face.

   He outlines four essentials. While Sunday School-ish in simplicity, the reminder is that these things are there for our use. They are there to help us overcome. Not as another thing our Heavenly Father counts to make sure we are good disciples, but tools that helps us survive mortality.

Prayer: I had two favorite lines from the part on Prayer. "Parents, help safeguard your children by arming them morning and night with the power of family prayer." I am not great at this. I pray by myself, on my knees, at night. And sometimes we pray together. A few times a week. Not enough. And "Family prayer should be a nonnegotiable priority in your daily life." Boom. Sternness. Richard G. should drop the mike.

Scripture Study: He connects scripture study to prayer by saying (paraphrasing) that we speak to God in prayer, He speaks back through scriptures. It is important to read scriptures with our children so they can understand that voice of God. Wow, right? I don't think I've heard a reason for scripture reading put so succinctly. It makes me understand why it is so important.

Family Home Evening: Don't make it an afterthought. Have a grand time together. Nothing new. No mike drops.

Temple Attendance: Last year Kyle and I went 12 times in 12 months. We were so proud of meeting our once a month goal. Perhaps we felt it was exhausting, or just that one year was good enough. in 2015 we didn't get to the temple until July. Yikes and Shame! In a talk about exercising your faith to feel peace, this one stands out. Where do you feel more peace than at the temple? Elder Scott says that by doing these four things we are accepting Christ's invitation to come unto Him, and isn't He after all the Prince of Peace?

   I am going to try a lot harder to do all of these things. I have plenty of time in the day and really all of these things should be nonnegotiable. I'm going to fail. I know because I've tried before. And I'll try again.

   I can't close better than he did. "I testify that as we actively come unto Him, we can endure every temptation, every heartache, every challenge we face, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Something New

    Summer is an interesting time for my family. We are able to spend so much extra time together. We travel, we do fun activities, we laugh together. However, I found this summer to be difficult for me. We spent 6 Sundays away from church for various reason. They were all legitimate reasons, we weren't just sleeping at home, but 6 weeks is a rather long absence.

   I was shocked to feel the influence of this departure from church. I've always assumed I'd kind of made it. Not that I'm celestial bound just yet, but that I was doing fine and didn't really need the weekly fortification. This was also about the time we stopped reading the scriptures together every night. We had just become "too busy". Slowly, I began to lose some of my steadfastness. I'm not admitting to any bad behavior, more of a lazy, nonchalant feeling about that gospel and about choosing the right.

   There have been times in my life where I was able to quote scripture and conference talks to lift friends from their hard places. I'm not at the other end of that. I'm not spiraling toward defection or inactivity, but I'm not as strong as I know I can be or as strong as I have been.

   I had an idea yesterday in church. I like to think it was inspiration, but I sometimes have a hard time deciphering my voice from that of the Spirit. It is a talent I am still working to develop. I am going to read a church talk every morning and record my thoughts about it. I can't imagine anyone is out there reading. If you are, welcome! If not, well, someday maybe my kids will wonder what their mom's testimony looked like. Maybe they will find that they are not in a place of major strength and be able to see some value in studying everyday. Or maybe they will just need ideas for a talk and steal something from me. 

   I am pretty excited about starting this. I already have my first talk picked out and everything. Don't hold me to everyday, because life, but I will try my best.

Diamonds and Things

Ten years ago I made the best decision of my life. I married Kyle. Honestly, I didn't even know how good of a choice it was back then. He has surprised me with how amazing he is. He's my love, my partner, my best friend. He is everything to me. Building our lives together has been the coolest thing I could imagine. He's the ying to my yang, the jelly to my peanut butter, the cream to my oreo. I'm so lucky to have him and can't wait to see what the next ten years hold!

Scripture Reading

Wanna know something cool? We've read our scriptures as a family every day for two and a half weeks! Is that a huge accomplishment? Probably not to some, but to us, yes! We just started reading as a family. We have a great system in place that is really keeping us and the kids motivated. After reading for one whole week we had ice cream sandwiches.Then we moved the time line to two weeks. Our next special treat is coming up on Monday. We will be buying happy meals, something we never ever do. Our kids are very excited about that. I don't know what we will get once we have read for three whole weeks, but four weeks is going to be us seeing Avengers: Age of Ultron! I am very excited about that.
It has been tough. There are times when Kyle isn't home till late and there are times when I am in a terrible, terrible mood! But I am so proud of us and our kids. They are really doing a great job. Especially Adam, he understands and pays so much attention. He's awesome. Caleb gets frustrated. He's trying, but he just doesn't understand the language yet.
Anyway, I will update to say how it's going. I have neglected this blog and that's too bad. I enjoy looking back at it and remembering things that otherwise would have been lost. I will try to do better. We shall see.