Re-cutting the cord

Levi was sick all last week. It was miserable. He barely ate, he slept 20 hours a day, though never at night, and he never left my lap. We took nice naps together. The house feel apart. We watched tv together. The house fell apart a little bit more...
Levi is better now. Well, he isn't sick. He doesn't want to walk. He has reverted to crawling. He doesn't want to leave my side. It's very sweet to hold them all day when they are sick. In fact, I kind of love sick babies. But holding them 24/7 when they are healthy is a whole different matter. my house needs me. The laundry cries in crumpled agitation. The dishes reach the sky.
Today I put Levi in the hallway and shut the door. He was not a fan. Oh well, sometimes you gotta cut the cord. Again.

Things that ail us

A lack of kidneys,
A plethora;
Some of the things
That could ail ya.
A baby inside
That makes you sick,
A heart that hurts
Every third tick.
Maybe you're broke
With no daily bread,
Or your boss is a jerk,
Or you can't get ahead.
We are a sorry
Sickly bunch.
But misery loves company;
So I'm pleased as punch!

I'm ashamed

I have failed big time at keeping up the blog. I started a job about 3 months ago and it has kept me busy. Any free time that I have is spent... Well if I had any free time I could finish that sentence. 3 kids + a man-child husband + a job + Adam's school + Levi's therapy + laundry and other house crap = absolutely no free time. I have so many things I need to do.
How I would love to put up a Christmas tree or scrapbook the 400 pictures I printed recently or even take a nap. Nope. Never gonna happen. As it is this entry is being written only because I am on a two day vacation to Utah. Kyle's friend got married this morning and we have a little bit of time before the reception. I've had 3 free hours today. Who knew it was possible?
Then it's go go go. Back to life. Back to the grind. Back to insanity. I don't recall a time in my life where I've felt quite so burned out. It would probably help if I liked my job. This wasnt supposed to be a depressing post. I'm not depressed. I'm just BUSY!

Game Night

We recently moved into a small apartment. When we did, game night was cancelled indefinitely. We just thought there was no way it would be fun in a small crowded environment. We sold our couches, so there wouldn't even be places for people to sit.
Two weeks ago some of my family members came to visit me at work and begged for game night to be back on. With a heavy heart I told them there was no way. We are just too uncomfortable here. But I've missed my friends and my family. We decided to have a trial night. We crammed around the table and played games. We ended by 11 PM. Anyone who has been to game night before knows this means utter failure. If people leave before the cock crows something is amiss.
We tried it again this week.
Shame on us, but game night was over at 11 again.
We suck.
We started to wonder if there would ever be redemption for our long held tradition.
On Saturday, Sydney and Felicia came up to watch Adam's soccer game. They stayed all day and into the night. You would think by night time they would be tired of us. Yet, the party raged on. Brock, Whitney, Bryan, and Clayton and Melanie all joined us. We sat around the family room without couches. We sat on tables, floors, and kitchen chairs. No one minded. No one complained. The house didn't empty till after 2 AM.
We had so much fun with our family. I think that's the best part of it too. Every person that comes is family, in some way. Felicia is definitely my sister, which makes Bryan the slightly strange in-law. Mel is married in and since Brock is dating Sydney he has a temporary pass. We got to feeling good. We even took turns saying things we loved about each other. Isn't that sweet? Doesn't it bring a tear to your eye? It almost did to mine. We all know I'm a cry baby though. Anyway, the point is....
Game night is back!!!!

Times I've cried in the last two days.

1. When I got a review at work. My bosses focused a wee bit on the negative and crushed all feelings of pride I had in the job I was doing. Also, I am aware that I set feminism back a couple of decades by crying in the workplace. Sue me.
Emotion - Let down

2. While I was cleaning at work. The mere memory of the review made me well up. No drops actually escaped so I'm not sure this counts.
Emotion - Frustration

3. Work again. Trying to sell personal training to two of the craziest women I've ever met. They interrupted each other and told me about the other one's problem. Another "near-tear." This one actually made me well up because I cannot laugh in a customer's face and I was trying so hard to hold in the outburst that it broke through to my eyes.
Emotion - Near hysteria

4. When I got home and told Kyle about my review.
Emotion - Anger

5. Listening to the kids sing If I listen With my Heart in the car this morning.
Emotion - Gratitude

Life's a rollercoaster.

Either that or I'm bipolar...

California weather

Last night I got home at 9 PM. I was boiling and I asked Kyle to turn the air down. Today it is 1 PM and I'm freaking freezing! What is up with the world?!
Global warming perhaps?
Second coming maybe?
Most likely it was the energy drink I had at work making me sweat buckets.
Still, whatever happened to the gradual progression of seasons? Who does this weather think it is, changing on me so quickly!? I haven't had a chance to buy winter clothes for anyone or to get my boots out of storage.
....
Oooh! Boots!
Turtlenecks!
And I can gain 5 or so pounds and wear a thick sweater; noone has to know. Plus, pumpkin pie!!! Maybe I didn't think this whole rant through very well. Who am I to tell nature its job?

Emancipation

I kicked Caleb out of the house today. I'm not ready for this crap. He isn't even 4 years old. What a brat! Ugh!

It started like a lot of the battles in my house start. One of the boys, Caleb in this anecdote, was bugging Levi till he cried. I put Caleb in his room.
Caleb said he wouldn't do it again. But he'd already done the crime and he knows very well what the penalty is. So, he still had to serve his time. He cried. He screamed. He yelled, "I hate you!!!!"
Yeah.
Hold everything!
a. How does he even know to say that? Kyle and I don't say that kind of thing. I vaguely remember watching a show with them recently where the kid did that. No joke, I even wondered about the influence they were getting.
b. Nice try. I'm the only person on this planet that loves that kid enough to deal with him constantly. I know people might say that's silly, but try dealing with someone else's child for a while and see how unconditional you feel.
I took him outside to the front porch and I told him he can go find a family he likes, because I will not take care of someone that hates me; I shut the door in his face. He cried quite loudly and honestly, I felt like a wonderful trailer park family. Oh well, extreme times, ya know. I told him he could come back and live with us once he apologized. I left him out there another 10 seconds or so and then he said he was sorry. I let him in but sent him to his room. For good measure, I cried and told him he hurt my feelings. Not in a sweet "let's hug it out" way but in a "you can stay in room cause you're mean" way. I know it was totally childish, but sometimes it seems like they understand that better.
I'm pretty tough as a mom and this didn't get under my skin. The crying is, I'm sure, misleading. Trust me, it was just a bit of theatrics.
TBS seems to promote the idea that you aren't a good parent till your kid says they hate you. I must be an awesome parent; most folks have to wait till their kids are teenagers.