My biggest pet peeve/my greatest hypocrisy

I have now listened to all of conference. Believe it or not, my favorite talk came from the Relief Society session. Henry B. has long been one of my favorites. You can feel how much he feels the Spirit.  And he speaks to my spirit.
"Trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good" was a great talk! We talk about service so much in the church, specifically the women, but president Eyring touched on something that drives me crazy. It seems to me that so many in the church want to be seen doing their good. I am not saying their intentions aren't good. It's 100% possible to serve and love someone and yet want to be seen for it. This is why in the title I say it's my greatest hypocrisy. I lose so much respect for people that tell me of the good they are doing, yet when I do something good I want to make sure and squeeze it into conversation. Drives me crazy for them, drives me crazy for myself. Good news: I'm very self aware. :)
My favorite part of this talk was when he spoke of the woman who anointed Jesus' feet. Jesus says in Mark 14:9: "wheresoever this gospel shall be preached throughout the world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken of for a memorial of her."
And isn't that true? This woman, who is otherwise unremarkable, made the Gospels.
President Eyring goes on to say, her "holy deed to honor the Savior of the world is remembered, but not her name."
That sentence was my favorite of all of conference. Why show your left hand what the right does? Isn't God seeing it and being appreciative better than the world? I know I would rather have the gratitude of my Savior than that of the world. Anyway, the world generally isn't grateful. They will find something to scorn or pick apart.
Sister Esplin in her talk quoted President Monson, "we are the Lord's hands here upon the earth, with the mandate to serve and to lift His children. He is dependent upon each of us."
The Lord depends upon me. And if he depends on me, why should I care that the world sees my service? I know he does.

Easter

Every year for spring break we go to Utah to see Kyle's family. They aren't members of the church and I am always a little let down on Easter. I want my kids to have a great Easter experience where they feel of their Savior's love and get to hear testimony that He lived and lives still. With each Easter that passes I feel sadder and sadder. Easter, to me, is the most important Christian holiday. We make a big deal of Christmas, but without the Resurrection, Christ's birth wouldn't mean what it does. I wonder if my kids know what Easter means to me? I wonder if they understand that Jesus Christ has saved me? I wonder if they know that He has made our family possible? Without Him we wouldn't be together for eternity. That might be a tough concept for kids, but it is one that I sure hope they understand soon.
This morning we were driving home from Utah during the sunrise. As I thought of the sun rising, I was impressed with the great engineering of the Lord. He made a beautiful plan. Everything has an answer. This is going to sound a bit little a ramble, so stay with me for a second. Just think of some of the "natural" occurrences of our every day: the earth goes around the Sun so we can rest at night, women have babies to replenish the Earth, something as simple as the water cycle. Again, I know that sounds like random things, but I am just spit balling here. How could those things ever be thought to be accidental, or without a Master planner behind them? I don't know who said it, but someone said the idea of a Big Bang is like imagining a printing press blowing up and the result being an encyclopedia. It's madness. Life and nature are far too intricate to be incidental.
Our Heavenly Father engineered a perfect plan to redemption. Without our Savior's Resurrection, we could not hope to return to His presence. He is the answer to our Humanity. Our failings and struggles are made whole with His help.
My Savior loves me. He has saved me countless times and will continue to do so. I am so glad He is there for me to lean on in my need.
My Savior loves you too.

Ruth

You know something...
The church is incredible.
The Spirit is amazing.

For just a wee bit of reference, in December we were handed out the Relief Society schedule for the year. Every fast Sunday we would be studying one of the women of the Bible for the presidency message. Nothing extraordinary. All normal church type stuff.
March fast Sunday was the story of Ruth, someone I knew nothing about. And honestly, I didn't even pay that much attention... then today, my Father-in-law was diagnosed with staged 4 cancer. And my mother in law needs support. And I can't stop thinking about Ruth and her loyalty and love for her Mother-in-law. Ruth's example deepens my own resolve and compassion and I am inspired.
The Spirit told someone 4 months ago to put Ruth this month. A few days before I would need her story so very much. That is amazing and incredible.

Alas!

Sometimes my library makes me sad. I would add 12,000 books, and yet I don't have the infinite time for the reading I would do. Even for the books I own.
I'd read all the classics, and Shakespeare I'd memorize. New adventures and worlds I'd discover. I wish I could reread each book I've loved so I could remember every detail.
But time waits for no man. It ticks and my books collect dust, begging me to get to them. I'm trying. For the love of all written word, I'm trying!!! Please know I love you all, with you twist and turns and endless entertainment. I love you all.

New Testament

Easter is around the corner. And I finished the Book of Mormon about a week ago. It's time for a new goal, y'all. I am excited to start the New Testament today. What better time to read about the life of Christ than nearing the most important holiday in Christianity? I mean, Christmas is a big deal, but the truth is Christ's birth isn't the most important part of the plan of Salvation, is it? Nope, that honor belongs to the Atonement. I am excited for this next goal. I have 29 days before Easter and a 30 day plan for the New Testament. I am going to have to double down one day, but I'm sure I can handle it. I've read the New Testament before and I actually find it rather easy reading. At least compared to some of the drier parts of the Book of Mormon. Isaiah, anyone?
Speaking of the Book of Mormon, my awesome husband gave his first lesson in Gospel Doctrine today. He did great! And he publicly thanked me for all my help. It was rather sweet. I LOVE helping him prepare. We spent hours together this weekend, pouring over the information, finding clips and quotes, and editing what we'd chosen. I loved it. It's better than a date, honestly. On a date you eat food and watch movies, and still play games on your phone sometimes... Rolling up your sleeves and working together is a horse of a different color. Bouncing ideas off each other and sharing knowledge is sexier than just about anything. I would definitely recommend that if your spouse has a calling that they could use help with, help them! You won't regret it!
Wish me luck with my reading. Or join me. Again, you won't regret it.

Finished!

Whew! All done. I read the Book of Mormon in 30 days. Now I need a new goal....

I am not doing fabulously right now. I've had a very depressing and hard week. I let myself have a pity week. I was lazy and unhappy all week, and this morning when it came time for church, I just couldn't muster the energy needed to listen to testimonies.

Stupid week. 

I'm over it now. It's Sunday night and I'm committing to having a good week. I will do what I gotta do and stop being a whiner.

Okay, in less depressing things, I am nearly done with the Book of Mormon. I started January 21st, so I'm pretty proud of myself. So what happened, was that last January 20th, I went to the temple. As I was praying beforehand, to feel the Spirit and such, I prayed to have my testimony of the Book of Mormon strengthened. The thought immediately came into my mind, "well, read it dummy!"

I don't know if the Spirit called me a dummy or if I added that part. I don't think it matters. I deserved to be called a dummy. It makes sense. How can I want strengthening without any work? Silly me.

So that's about it. I am simultaneously having a bad time and also have a grand life. I figure that means I get to pick which one I focus on. Last week I focused on the bad, from now on, it's all good! :)