Testimony

I don't like to bear my testimony. I never have. Even when I was 13 and at girls' camp I couldn't make myself do it. I've always had a secret fear that it was because I didn't have a testimony. I've always wondered if the right trial would come one day that blew me off course like I was nothing.
As I look at my trials though I realize I'm not doing so bad. Each time the refiner's fire grabs me I count my blessings, I pray, I fast. I do all the things ive been taught and I hold tight to my faith.
I've read a comparison of a testimony to light. For some people the light flicks on and all the darkness disappears. No more doubt or fear. For others a testimony starts small like a candle, building slowly but surely till they've got a raging fire. I figure is why I've wondered previously. I'm a candle kind of a girl. No angels have administered and the spirit has never been physically audible to me. But I've never doubted Heavenly Father's love for me, my testimony of Joseph Smith has always been in tact, and, most importantly, my love of the Savior and gratitude for the Atonement have always been strong. As my lines build and my precepts stack up, I find that the darkness is dissipating and I've got a light every bit as good as those that started with 90 watts.
I have a strong testimony of Heavenly Father's love for me. I know he looks after me and I know He hurts when I hurt. He gives me trials for the experience they provide. If I knew nothing else, this would get me pretty far.
A little bit of my testimony is built upon my marriage. I believe that Heavenly Father led me to Kyle early in my life because He knew that I needed him. He knew without him I'd make a mess of things. Kyle is my perfect match. He has every quality that I lack and though I don't believe in soul mates, I have a hard time thinking we are just two random wanderers who got lucky.
I'm grateful for the temple and for eternal families. The sealing ordinance is a great proof to me of Heavenly Father's love. I couldn't imagine heaven without my sweet family. All of them, Kyle, the boys, my parents, my siblings. I even look forward to seeing grandma Mary Jane again someday.
This was kind of random, I know, but I felt I needed to share my testimony and this is a much better option for me than public speaking.

Does this count?