Pregnancy and High Heels

When I'm pregnant I like to draw attention away from my expanding physique to just about anything else.

Fun colors of makeup make it so people pay more attention to my eyes than to the fact that I've lost my chin in a sea of mushy flesh. Even if some people think it's too much, too colorful, or verging on hookerish, I don't care. It's fun and their eyes are drawn away from other things.

High heels thin out legs. My legs are pretty short for someone my height anyway, but add a couple extra pounds to each of them and you have yourself a tree trunk situation. Again, my shoes may border on hookerish, but I get my ankles back so red light district here I come!

Well, there I went anyway.

Stupid shoes.

You would think just 4 (or so) extra inches wouldn't be a long way to fall if you lost your balance. You'd be wrong.

I'd like to blame it on the floor. Stupid cement was all uneven. Still... I don't think I've ever fallen all the way down to the floor in my heels before, bad floor or not. It was very embarrassing. Not so much falling. Heck, people trip all the freaking time right? Just falling and being pregnant and having people freak out and ask how you landed and if you're okay and to be sure you don't start having contractions and yada yada yada.

For the record, my hip caught me.

And I'm okay.

And Levi's just dandy. I imagine for him it was like the tower of terror. He was free falling, the floor coming at him so fast and at the last second, he was safe in his little cocoon. The most damage it did him was give him a love of amusement park adrenaline. No big deal.

Stupid shoes.

So, should I really go high-heel-less for the next 3 months? That just makes me sad to think about. My shoes are sad too. I think I hear them beckoning me to the closet. I hear their sad pleas. They've past denial and anger. They've reached bargaining. "Your legs will look so much better with us at the bottom of them." "Come and play with us, Forever and ever and ever."

So sad.

For now they are staying in the closet. We shall see what happens. It's taken me 3 pregnancies to fall even once, so I'm thinking it may have been a one time thing. And there was the floor to consider. Can't people just fix their stupid parking lots to be even?

3 months might just be too long to put away heels...