Technically this would be week 4, however, we didn't get a new scripture up last week. This week's is John 3:5. It is saying baptism is essential to celestial glory. I picked it because caleb will be baptised in about 3 weeks. Caleb is my star ponderizer. He has memorized all of the scriptures, so this one is just for him.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Lily's song
Stuck in the car for a long time listening to this song on repeat from Lily: "A B C S G, how I number what you are." 😊
Monday, October 12, 2015
"What lack I yet?" Larry R Lawrence
I love this talk. I am doing this in my car before leaving on a field trip with Caleb. So my notes are a little all over the place. Dont hold it against me.
The holy ghost gives honest counsel. He tells us things no one else knows or has the courage to say. He bears truth if we are willing to listen to it.
We need to be humble enough to ask the question, and faithful enough to follow through with the counsel we are given. I have to wonder at the pontential of the rich young man. If he had listened to the Savior, what could he have become? How sad that he stunted his own growth for money. We are given line upon line of improvement so we aren't overwhelmed.
Elder Lawrence recommends the sacrament as a time to quietly ask the father what we lack. The atonement makes our improvement possible.
I love the personal-Ness of the answers the holy ghost gives in his examples. Sometimes the answers are not super gospel related, but things that are just needed for our growth.
Perfection is not for this life, but growth is. He quotes President Spencers W. Kimball "“I have learned that where there is a prayerful heart, a hungering after righteousness, a forsaking of sins, and obedience to the commandments of God, the Lord pours out more and more light until there is finally power to pierce the heavenly veil. ... A person of such righteousness has the priceless promise that one day he shall see the Lord’s face and know that he is.”
I think this is exactly what I am looking for. My temple experience was seeking to pierce the heavenly veil. I am obviously not ready, but if I continue to hunger and chase righteousness I am promised that some day I will see the Lord's face.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Week 2
Our scripture this week is D&C 10:5.
Pray always that you may come off conquerer; yeah that you may conquer satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work.
Caleb is the only one that memorized last week. He is my rock star. I think we needed an easier verse and one that is more meaningful to them. Hopefully we do better this week.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
"Yielding our hearts to God" Neill Marriott
This talk was very much about having faith. Leaving things in the Lord's hands. "It'll all work out." I feel blessed to have a very calm spirit. I generally believe that things will work out. My levels of stress are rather low in times of catastrophe.
Kyle and I went to the temple yesterday. I prayed very earnestly to feel the spirit and have a real confirmation of temple work. Don't get me wrong. I believe in everything we do in the temple. What I am asking for is an unshakeable knowledge. I want a testimony so strong that Satan shakes at the sight of me. I've been doing everything right recently on this journey of looking for it and i was kind of looking for that moment where the clouds part and I see the Savior. I didn't get it yesterday. I had a nice time in the temple. Kyle and I were the witness couple and were even told we are a delight by the officiator. It was lovely. But there was no opening of Heaven and cherubim singing. I thought I might be disappointed. But I'm okay. It'll work out. Either I will continue in faith, or I'll get a sure knowledge someday.
I talked to Kyle yesterday about our sabbath worship. We do okay on Sundays. We don't shop or do inappropriate things, but all conference, and especially after this talk, I felt that there was more yet to be done. I have asked the Lord what I lack and He has shown me. I am really excited to reform our Sundays. I have lots of ideas and kind of can't wait for tomorrow. What a nice feeling.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Mosiah 2:30
I was listening to my scriptures on my phone today when I came across this verse. Anyone who watched general conference knows that President Monson's health was failing him toward the end of his talk. He leaned on the pupil and struggled to get his words out. It was tough to watch. I wanted to cry and wanted to reach out, if nothing else just to hug our beloved prophet. Lots of speculation and accounts have surrounded this, but as I read the scripture I was given comfort that none of the stories have brought. At this time king Benjamin is speaking from the tower, his own pulpit. It really was just an earlier general conference to the church. He says,
"For even at this time, my whole frame doth tremble exceedingly while attempting to speak unto you; but the Lord God doth support me, and hath suffered me that I should speak unto you."
The Lord God doth support his prophet. He holds him up even when he is weak. I love our prophet. Knowing that the Lord and his angels watch over him gives me great hope and happiness.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
"The joy of living a Christ centered life" - Richard J. Maynes
Elder Maynes begins his talk with the analogy of the potter's clay not being centered. I really like this analogy because it is about exactness. Sometimes I feel that just being close enough is good enough. For instance, not watching rated R movies means that I am not watching filth, not drinking coffee means that I am following the Word of Wisdom right? I would say that kind of clay is on the wheel, but perhaps a little off the center. So what ways am I not on center? What ways can I improve to be exactly on the wheel? Again this brings me to the recent counsel of Sabbath worship. It is the one thing that keeps coming back to me after conference. Even when it isn't mentioned in a talk, it comes to my conscience that it is a way for me to improve. One of these talks around here told us to pray and ask what more we could be doing. I believe that the reason every talk speaks of the Sabbath to me is because it is the Spirit whispering the answer. Don't get me wrong. My Sabbath is fine. It is the "not drinking coffee" of keeping the Word of Wisdom. But I know there is so much more. Our leaders are calling us, calling me to action.
I had never noticed the contrast of Lamoni wanting to save his life versus wanting the joy of the Gospel. For his life he would give half his kingdom, for eternal life he would give all. It gives me chills just to think about. I imagine the kind of spirit he must have felt when Aaron preached to him. What a blessing he received to feel it so strongly.
Sometimes converts get to feel the Spirit a little stronger than those born into the church. The absence of light makes it that much more profound when they get it. I am kind of a convert. I don't know if people would consider me one. But in this manner I am a convert. I came into the church when I was 9. I was raised catholic before that. I remember going to primary in some of my first days and just being amazed. I remember knowing the songs better than those who had been around their whole lives. Even seminary was a wonderful experience to me. Some were sleepy and just there to appease their parents. I won the scripture bowl every year. I was soaking up all the goodness because the gospel had not grown everyday to me.
Be advised, this did not make me a perfect teenager or adult. I still have had my own problems and doubts and such, but in those early days and with the innocence of my youth, I felt the Spirit in a very real, very strong way.
The reminder in this talk is simply that we need to center our lives in Jesus for happiness and stability. Centering our lives come easy when we feel His Spirit.
I had never noticed the contrast of Lamoni wanting to save his life versus wanting the joy of the Gospel. For his life he would give half his kingdom, for eternal life he would give all. It gives me chills just to think about. I imagine the kind of spirit he must have felt when Aaron preached to him. What a blessing he received to feel it so strongly.
Sometimes converts get to feel the Spirit a little stronger than those born into the church. The absence of light makes it that much more profound when they get it. I am kind of a convert. I don't know if people would consider me one. But in this manner I am a convert. I came into the church when I was 9. I was raised catholic before that. I remember going to primary in some of my first days and just being amazed. I remember knowing the songs better than those who had been around their whole lives. Even seminary was a wonderful experience to me. Some were sleepy and just there to appease their parents. I won the scripture bowl every year. I was soaking up all the goodness because the gospel had not grown everyday to me.
Be advised, this did not make me a perfect teenager or adult. I still have had my own problems and doubts and such, but in those early days and with the innocence of my youth, I felt the Spirit in a very real, very strong way.
The reminder in this talk is simply that we need to center our lives in Jesus for happiness and stability. Centering our lives come easy when we feel His Spirit.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
"God is at the helm" - Elder M. Russell Ballard
Stay on the Old Ship Zion. The Lord is at the Helm.
Yesterday's talk asked how our church experience was working out for us. This one outlines how it should. It seemed to me this talk was about following the prophet, though that was never directly said. Elder Ballard begins by talking about the Lord's apostles, those that walked with him. Without those first disciples, we would have no apostolic witness of the Lord's life. I have never really thought about that. The witness we have is that of the Lord's chosen twelve. It isn't just some people off the street who saw Jesus walk by. It is the testimony of apostles, some who would go on to be prophets.
I often think of Peter. He is an inspiration to me. He was so very human, yet he was being instructed by perfection. He falls short and is chastised a lot. I find that amazing. The Lord's apostle, one who goes on to be prophet of his church, needing chastising. I find it comforting and uplifting. Elder Ballard says, (very very paraphrased) "We make a mistake finding only the shortcomings, and failing to see the Lord working through those he has called. The Lord uses us despite our humanity." Despite our humanity! How beautiful. Our Father made us human, he knows our shortcomings and he uses us even still. His Grace is sufficient even for us.
Elder Ballard states, "The Lord's apostles are duty bound to watch, warn, reach out to help those seeking answers." Twenty years ago, President Hinkley gave us the Family: A Proclamation to the World. Today we see the beautiful insight of that. The deterioration of the Family in the last twenty years is staggering. How grateful we should be to have a divine warning and guidance of truth.
In our own day, we are being warned about the sanctity of the Sabbath. It may not seem like a big deal now. It may seem that breaking the Sabbath, or even just having an apathetic approach to it will not harm us, or make much difference in the great expanse of eternity. However, we are being warned. Twenty years from now, what will we see? Will we look back and wish we had heeding the call to reform our Sunday worship? Or will we be grateful for that divine warning and guidance? This is something for me to consider in my family. I don't know exactly how to overhaul my Sunday, without ruining the day of rest. My rest involves naps, movies, books. Kyle's involves football. The kids play with Legos and watch movies. All very restful activities, yet not centered on Christ or even done together as a family. Just something to think about. I will have to come back to this. My Sundays may require a planning session.
Elder Ballard then does something that I love. He outlines what is appropriate for Sacrament meeting, including testimony meeting. I wish all in the church would follow this counsel. It is when it isn't heeded that I can't feel the Spirit. Testimonies are beautiful, uplifting, and inspiring, but rambling is not. Neither is a parent whispering to a child what to say. Sorry. It's just not. Practice at home.
The church is the Good ship Zion. The Lord is at the Helm. He direct us and keeps us from running aground. If he is at the Helm, I like to the think of the prophet in the crows' nest, keeping a weathered eye on that horizon, Our ship's destination is the Kingdom of Heaven and the presence of God. We need the church to get there. Spirituality of itself is not the same thing. We need the covenants and the priesthood available only through his anointed. So you see, our church experience does work for us. It provides us all the necessary things to return to Him.
Yesterday's talk asked how our church experience was working out for us. This one outlines how it should. It seemed to me this talk was about following the prophet, though that was never directly said. Elder Ballard begins by talking about the Lord's apostles, those that walked with him. Without those first disciples, we would have no apostolic witness of the Lord's life. I have never really thought about that. The witness we have is that of the Lord's chosen twelve. It isn't just some people off the street who saw Jesus walk by. It is the testimony of apostles, some who would go on to be prophets.
I often think of Peter. He is an inspiration to me. He was so very human, yet he was being instructed by perfection. He falls short and is chastised a lot. I find that amazing. The Lord's apostle, one who goes on to be prophet of his church, needing chastising. I find it comforting and uplifting. Elder Ballard says, (very very paraphrased) "We make a mistake finding only the shortcomings, and failing to see the Lord working through those he has called. The Lord uses us despite our humanity." Despite our humanity! How beautiful. Our Father made us human, he knows our shortcomings and he uses us even still. His Grace is sufficient even for us.
Elder Ballard states, "The Lord's apostles are duty bound to watch, warn, reach out to help those seeking answers." Twenty years ago, President Hinkley gave us the Family: A Proclamation to the World. Today we see the beautiful insight of that. The deterioration of the Family in the last twenty years is staggering. How grateful we should be to have a divine warning and guidance of truth.
In our own day, we are being warned about the sanctity of the Sabbath. It may not seem like a big deal now. It may seem that breaking the Sabbath, or even just having an apathetic approach to it will not harm us, or make much difference in the great expanse of eternity. However, we are being warned. Twenty years from now, what will we see? Will we look back and wish we had heeding the call to reform our Sunday worship? Or will we be grateful for that divine warning and guidance? This is something for me to consider in my family. I don't know exactly how to overhaul my Sunday, without ruining the day of rest. My rest involves naps, movies, books. Kyle's involves football. The kids play with Legos and watch movies. All very restful activities, yet not centered on Christ or even done together as a family. Just something to think about. I will have to come back to this. My Sundays may require a planning session.
Elder Ballard then does something that I love. He outlines what is appropriate for Sacrament meeting, including testimony meeting. I wish all in the church would follow this counsel. It is when it isn't heeded that I can't feel the Spirit. Testimonies are beautiful, uplifting, and inspiring, but rambling is not. Neither is a parent whispering to a child what to say. Sorry. It's just not. Practice at home.
The church is the Good ship Zion. The Lord is at the Helm. He direct us and keeps us from running aground. If he is at the Helm, I like to the think of the prophet in the crows' nest, keeping a weathered eye on that horizon, Our ship's destination is the Kingdom of Heaven and the presence of God. We need the church to get there. Spirituality of itself is not the same thing. We need the covenants and the priesthood available only through his anointed. So you see, our church experience does work for us. It provides us all the necessary things to return to Him.
Monday, October 5, 2015
"It works wonderfully" - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
There aren't any titles yet for the talks. They aren't typed up yet, I guess because they aren't on the website. I am watching this again on my recording. I apologize for any misquotes or the fact that the title is wrong.
President Uchtdorf starts with talking about a medical procedure he had. The doctor's prescribed method of healing wasn't what he wanted to hear. He doesn't go into specifics, but we are led to believe that his healing was one that would take a while and he didn't want to wait. Instead of accepting the simple instructions of the doctor, he went online to look for another way. Perhaps there was a cure out there on the internet that his doctor was keeping from him.
This makes me wonder, where do we look for truth? Do we accept the simple truths given to us, or do we look for more complex answers. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is rather simple and yet there are many things to learn. Do we allow those complexities to crowd out the plain and precious truths? Sometimes the truth is too simple. This reminds me of the people in Egypt. The Lord sent serpents among them because of their wickedness. After many of them had died, they repented of their sins. At this point the Lord had mercy on them and told Moses to lift up a staff to save them. All that was required of the people was to look up at the staff. It doesn't say in the scriptures that some people were too hard headed or hard hearted to look, but I wonder if there were. I wonder at the Lord's way of healing them, Obviously, he could could have done something even simpler, he could have taken the venom straight from their veins, but instead he made a way that they would have to exercise their faith.
I believe that accepting the simple truths is a test of faith. Often people get so bogged down by things that don't change the Gospel. There are complexities that I don't have to understand. Especially those which come from judging. I often see people wanting a black and white line to the Gospel. Yes, those lines are there. We know the truth of them, However, it is not given to us to judge those who are on the other side of that line. This might be a tangent, but I think of those struggling with same sex attraction. We know it is wrong to act on these things, but this is a trial that I don't know if I could bear. Because it is a trial that I imagine to be so difficult, I could not picture a living Heavenly Father damning someone based upon it. I am not saying it's fine and dandy, and I am not saying I know how it will work out, but I believe that the Lord knows those people and loves them. They are His children. And that's all I need.
Okay, sorry for the waltz into left field. President Uchtdorf asked us to think about our lives and take stalk of them. He have us specific questions. In the spirit of searching for truth, I am going to answer these honestly. I know this is the internet and anyone can read this. But, no one reads blogs anymore. And even if they did, why should I be ashamed?
Does my life have Meaning? My life does have meaning. I am a wife and mother on a course of growth and progression.
Do I believe in God? I do. I know he is my Father and that He loves me.
Do I believe that God knows and loves me? OOh! Answered above.
Do I believe that God hears and answers my prayers? I know that Heavenly Father answers my prayers. I've written before about why I am doing this. Why the notes and the reading. I long to have a more constant and full experience with the Lord's spirit. I want him to be my constant companion, guiding my efforts every day. This whole thing has been about inviting the Spirit. Saturday morning during conference, I prayed to that end. I asked the Lord to show me what more I can do, and to really pour His spirit out to me during the rest of conference. I really think this is the best conference I've watched. I haven't stopped reading and watching and listening. My heart is bursting still today! He answered my prayer fully and lovingly.
Am I truly happy? Weird question. I am happy with my family. I am happy with the Gospel. Are there things I would change about myself or my situation? Sure.
Are my efforts leading me to the highest spiritual goals and values in life? I think so. It may be a snail trail, but I am trying.
He then invites us to consider our discipleship with some other questions:
Is my experience in the church working for me? This is tough. I am not sure. Sunday worship is not my strong suit. I wrestle children at church and don't hear much. I don't know that my bishop or Home Teachers care about me. However, it could be that I'm easy. Kyle and I haven't had any struggles recently that would lead them to concern themselves with us. Generally, the bishop has bigger problems. I also am not good at magnifying callings. In fact, I would say that I am a failure when it comes to my service in the church. I feel that I have been demoted and demoted until I ended up on the RS activity committee because I was worthless everywhere else. Not worthless, but through my own lack of effort, of no use.
Is it bringing me closer to Christ? One can only hope. Some Sundays are wonderfully enlightening and uplifting. Others I am counting the minutes till nacho time.
Is it blessing me and my family with peace and joy as promised in the Gospel? I feel peace in the Gospel. My children are my greatest source of anxiety, but the Gospel provides me with what they need to know and how to help them become disciples themselves.
This scripture has been coming up a lot in recent years. This isn't even the only talk in this conference that referenced it. Alma asked "Have you experienced this mighty change in your heart and if so, can you feel it now?" Again, I would say this is my whole purpose in these notes. Making sure that I am constantly feeling the Spirit and having the drive of a true disciple to do what is right and needed.
President Uchtdorf advises us to start where we are, weaknesses and all. I didn't write the exact quote of what he said, but what I heard was "weaknesses are great sources of strength because they humble us and turn us to our Father in Heaven." Have you ever thought about your weakness as a strength? The humbling power of trials is a great blessing to us. And after all, the Lord will make weak things strong. I believe he is doing that with me. Even this blog is proof. To some is given a great gift of faith and stalwartness. I am not one of them, but my weakness in faith is driving my pursuit of the Spirit. Some day I hope to be a spiritual giant. I am not one today, but maybe I stand a little taller than I did a few years ago.
"Exaltation is the Goal, Discipleship is the journey."
President Uchtdorf starts with talking about a medical procedure he had. The doctor's prescribed method of healing wasn't what he wanted to hear. He doesn't go into specifics, but we are led to believe that his healing was one that would take a while and he didn't want to wait. Instead of accepting the simple instructions of the doctor, he went online to look for another way. Perhaps there was a cure out there on the internet that his doctor was keeping from him.
This makes me wonder, where do we look for truth? Do we accept the simple truths given to us, or do we look for more complex answers. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is rather simple and yet there are many things to learn. Do we allow those complexities to crowd out the plain and precious truths? Sometimes the truth is too simple. This reminds me of the people in Egypt. The Lord sent serpents among them because of their wickedness. After many of them had died, they repented of their sins. At this point the Lord had mercy on them and told Moses to lift up a staff to save them. All that was required of the people was to look up at the staff. It doesn't say in the scriptures that some people were too hard headed or hard hearted to look, but I wonder if there were. I wonder at the Lord's way of healing them, Obviously, he could could have done something even simpler, he could have taken the venom straight from their veins, but instead he made a way that they would have to exercise their faith.
I believe that accepting the simple truths is a test of faith. Often people get so bogged down by things that don't change the Gospel. There are complexities that I don't have to understand. Especially those which come from judging. I often see people wanting a black and white line to the Gospel. Yes, those lines are there. We know the truth of them, However, it is not given to us to judge those who are on the other side of that line. This might be a tangent, but I think of those struggling with same sex attraction. We know it is wrong to act on these things, but this is a trial that I don't know if I could bear. Because it is a trial that I imagine to be so difficult, I could not picture a living Heavenly Father damning someone based upon it. I am not saying it's fine and dandy, and I am not saying I know how it will work out, but I believe that the Lord knows those people and loves them. They are His children. And that's all I need.
Okay, sorry for the waltz into left field. President Uchtdorf asked us to think about our lives and take stalk of them. He have us specific questions. In the spirit of searching for truth, I am going to answer these honestly. I know this is the internet and anyone can read this. But, no one reads blogs anymore. And even if they did, why should I be ashamed?
Does my life have Meaning? My life does have meaning. I am a wife and mother on a course of growth and progression.
Do I believe in God? I do. I know he is my Father and that He loves me.
Do I believe that God knows and loves me? OOh! Answered above.
Do I believe that God hears and answers my prayers? I know that Heavenly Father answers my prayers. I've written before about why I am doing this. Why the notes and the reading. I long to have a more constant and full experience with the Lord's spirit. I want him to be my constant companion, guiding my efforts every day. This whole thing has been about inviting the Spirit. Saturday morning during conference, I prayed to that end. I asked the Lord to show me what more I can do, and to really pour His spirit out to me during the rest of conference. I really think this is the best conference I've watched. I haven't stopped reading and watching and listening. My heart is bursting still today! He answered my prayer fully and lovingly.
Am I truly happy? Weird question. I am happy with my family. I am happy with the Gospel. Are there things I would change about myself or my situation? Sure.
Are my efforts leading me to the highest spiritual goals and values in life? I think so. It may be a snail trail, but I am trying.
He then invites us to consider our discipleship with some other questions:
Is my experience in the church working for me? This is tough. I am not sure. Sunday worship is not my strong suit. I wrestle children at church and don't hear much. I don't know that my bishop or Home Teachers care about me. However, it could be that I'm easy. Kyle and I haven't had any struggles recently that would lead them to concern themselves with us. Generally, the bishop has bigger problems. I also am not good at magnifying callings. In fact, I would say that I am a failure when it comes to my service in the church. I feel that I have been demoted and demoted until I ended up on the RS activity committee because I was worthless everywhere else. Not worthless, but through my own lack of effort, of no use.
Is it bringing me closer to Christ? One can only hope. Some Sundays are wonderfully enlightening and uplifting. Others I am counting the minutes till nacho time.
Is it blessing me and my family with peace and joy as promised in the Gospel? I feel peace in the Gospel. My children are my greatest source of anxiety, but the Gospel provides me with what they need to know and how to help them become disciples themselves.
This scripture has been coming up a lot in recent years. This isn't even the only talk in this conference that referenced it. Alma asked "Have you experienced this mighty change in your heart and if so, can you feel it now?" Again, I would say this is my whole purpose in these notes. Making sure that I am constantly feeling the Spirit and having the drive of a true disciple to do what is right and needed.
President Uchtdorf advises us to start where we are, weaknesses and all. I didn't write the exact quote of what he said, but what I heard was "weaknesses are great sources of strength because they humble us and turn us to our Father in Heaven." Have you ever thought about your weakness as a strength? The humbling power of trials is a great blessing to us. And after all, the Lord will make weak things strong. I believe he is doing that with me. Even this blog is proof. To some is given a great gift of faith and stalwartness. I am not one of them, but my weakness in faith is driving my pursuit of the Spirit. Some day I hope to be a spiritual giant. I am not one today, but maybe I stand a little taller than I did a few years ago.
"Exaltation is the Goal, Discipleship is the journey."
Sunday, October 4, 2015
Conference and Ponderizing
Conference this week was great. I will be starting up again tomorrow reading and recording my thoughts. For now I am content to tell you that our family is starting "ponderizing" in the morning. The brother who brought this idea to conference said he committed to do it for 20 years. I cannot commit to that yet. Seems like a long time. I will commit to a tenth of that. I think I can do this for two years. And the good news: the schedule is p remade for two years. Scripture mastery. Hello. Easy peasy. We are starting with Abraham 3:23. It isn't as random as it seems, We Did Moses 1: 39 a while ago. And I didn't want to do the one after that. So we moved to the third. 😊
The point is, I am excited about this.
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