There aren't any titles yet for the talks. They aren't typed up yet, I guess because they aren't on the website. I am watching this again on my recording. I apologize for any misquotes or the fact that the title is wrong.
President Uchtdorf starts with talking about a medical procedure he had. The doctor's prescribed method of healing wasn't what he wanted to hear. He doesn't go into specifics, but we are led to believe that his healing was one that would take a while and he didn't want to wait. Instead of accepting the simple instructions of the doctor, he went online to look for another way. Perhaps there was a cure out there on the internet that his doctor was keeping from him.
This makes me wonder, where do we look for truth? Do we accept the simple truths given to us, or do we look for more complex answers. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is rather simple and yet there are many things to learn. Do we allow those complexities to crowd out the plain and precious truths? Sometimes the truth is too simple. This reminds me of the people in Egypt. The Lord sent serpents among them because of their wickedness. After many of them had died, they repented of their sins. At this point the Lord had mercy on them and told Moses to lift up a staff to save them. All that was required of the people was to look up at the staff. It doesn't say in the scriptures that some people were too hard headed or hard hearted to look, but I wonder if there were. I wonder at the Lord's way of healing them, Obviously, he could could have done something even simpler, he could have taken the venom straight from their veins, but instead he made a way that they would have to exercise their faith.
I believe that accepting the simple truths is a test of faith. Often people get so bogged down by things that don't change the Gospel. There are complexities that I don't have to understand. Especially those which come from judging. I often see people wanting a black and white line to the Gospel. Yes, those lines are there. We know the truth of them, However, it is not given to us to judge those who are on the other side of that line. This might be a tangent, but I think of those struggling with same sex attraction. We know it is wrong to act on these things, but this is a trial that I don't know if I could bear. Because it is a trial that I imagine to be so difficult, I could not picture a living Heavenly Father damning someone based upon it. I am not saying it's fine and dandy, and I am not saying I know how it will work out, but I believe that the Lord knows those people and loves them. They are His children. And that's all I need.
Okay, sorry for the waltz into left field. President Uchtdorf asked us to think about our lives and take stalk of them. He have us specific questions. In the spirit of searching for truth, I am going to answer these honestly. I know this is the internet and anyone can read this. But, no one reads blogs anymore. And even if they did, why should I be ashamed?
Does my life have Meaning? My life does have meaning. I am a wife and mother on a course of growth and progression.
Do I believe in God? I do. I know he is my Father and that He loves me.
Do I believe that God knows and loves me? OOh! Answered above.
Do I believe that God hears and answers my prayers? I know that Heavenly Father answers my prayers. I've written before about why I am doing this. Why the notes and the reading. I long to have a more constant and full experience with the Lord's spirit. I want him to be my constant companion, guiding my efforts every day. This whole thing has been about inviting the Spirit. Saturday morning during conference, I prayed to that end. I asked the Lord to show me what more I can do, and to really pour His spirit out to me during the rest of conference. I really think this is the best conference I've watched. I haven't stopped reading and watching and listening. My heart is bursting still today! He answered my prayer fully and lovingly.
Am I truly happy? Weird question. I am happy with my family. I am happy with the Gospel. Are there things I would change about myself or my situation? Sure.
Are my efforts leading me to the highest spiritual goals and values in life? I think so. It may be a snail trail, but I am trying.
He then invites us to consider our discipleship with some other questions:
Is my experience in the church working for me? This is tough. I am not sure. Sunday worship is not my strong suit. I wrestle children at church and don't hear much. I don't know that my bishop or Home Teachers care about me. However, it could be that I'm easy. Kyle and I haven't had any struggles recently that would lead them to concern themselves with us. Generally, the bishop has bigger problems. I also am not good at magnifying callings. In fact, I would say that I am a failure when it comes to my service in the church. I feel that I have been demoted and demoted until I ended up on the RS activity committee because I was worthless everywhere else. Not worthless, but through my own lack of effort, of no use.
Is it bringing me closer to Christ? One can only hope. Some Sundays are wonderfully enlightening and uplifting. Others I am counting the minutes till nacho time.
Is it blessing me and my family with peace and joy as promised in the Gospel? I feel peace in the Gospel. My children are my greatest source of anxiety, but the Gospel provides me with what they need to know and how to help them become disciples themselves.
This scripture has been coming up a lot in recent years. This isn't even the only talk in this conference that referenced it. Alma asked "Have you experienced this mighty change in your heart and if so, can you feel it now?" Again, I would say this is my whole purpose in these notes. Making sure that I am constantly feeling the Spirit and having the drive of a true disciple to do what is right and needed.
President Uchtdorf advises us to start where we are, weaknesses and all. I didn't write the exact quote of what he said, but what I heard was "weaknesses are great sources of strength because they humble us and turn us to our Father in Heaven." Have you ever thought about your weakness as a strength? The humbling power of trials is a great blessing to us. And after all, the Lord will make weak things strong. I believe he is doing that with me. Even this blog is proof. To some is given a great gift of faith and stalwartness. I am not one of them, but my weakness in faith is driving my pursuit of the Spirit. Some day I hope to be a spiritual giant. I am not one today, but maybe I stand a little taller than I did a few years ago.
"Exaltation is the Goal, Discipleship is the journey."
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