If you don't have anything nice to say... please don't grasp at straws!

Piano playing today did not go well. I practiced this week and got semi okay at the songs I was supposed to be playing today. Then I second guessed myself and decided to play the simplified versions, without ever having practiced them. I am not a fantastic sight reader. Okay... I suck.
I got a few very interesting compliments when Relief Society was over.
#1: "I love listening to you play. It's so great when people have to stretch themselves for a calling. You're going to learn so much."
#2: "Thank you for playing. I love listening to you. You're so brave. You just always keep going. It gives me hope that I could learn to play the piano."
What I heard, "I'm trying to be encouraging, but that was just awful."
Thanks.
I hear ya.

Simple Joys

Who knew that such tiny things could bring such great amounts of happiness? My boys needed new shoes. I ended up at Walmart one day.

Regular Tennis Shoes= $10

Awesome Lightning McQueen/Spiderman Tennis Shoes= $15

Sure it cost me $10 extra dollars between the two of them, but those shoes may have made me the coolest mom ever. They have barely left feet since purchased. During nap time, they get tucked in with the little boys that own them.

Who knew that buying shoes could do the job of clothing children as well as providing them with toys?

Two birds, meet my stone!

Gratitude.

I felt the need for some kind of spiritual... connection today. Uplifting isn't the right word, and neither is fulfillment. In fact it is due to the uplifting I've felt recently that I was searching for it. If that makes any kind of sense.
Kyle and I fasted this month for something that we needed help with. We've fasted before as a family, but I haven't been able to in a long time, since I was pregnant. I am not sure I've really appreciated the blessings of a fast before. We were answered so quickly and so thoroughly that I wondered why we don't fast every Sunday. We were blessed in a way that was so obviously heaven sent one couldn't help but be amazed and grateful.
We are a very blessed family. All our children are healthy, they are well behaved and beautiful. We love where we live. Our new ward has been extremely welcoming and those relationships are quickly becoming great friendships. We both have callings that allow us the opportunity to serve and (especially me) to learn. We love each other in a way that neither of us expected or understood when we got married. We have great extended families that love and care about our well being. Kyle has a job at which he excels. The list goes on and on... There are a hundred more ways in which we are blessed. That is just a molecule in the ice of the tip of my iceburg. I'm not trying to brag... I'm just feeling very grateful today.

You've Changed

Kyle and I have always had a certain way of parenting. Our babies learned to cry it out from an early age and no child has ever slept in our bed. When Caleb was 6 weeks old and not sleeping through the night, he got a little shove in the right direction. It included turning on fans and any other forms of white noise so that we didn't hear him cry at night. It may seem mean, but within one week he figured out how to sleep on Mommy and Daddy hours.
A couple of nights ago Kyle and I are laying in bed long past little boy bed time. I tell him, "I miss Levi."
He says, "Well, go get him!" I was shocked. I had felt myself going soft, but I never thought in a hundred years it would happen to Kyle.
I confronted him, "You would let Levi sleep in our bed every night wouldn't you?"
"I totally would. I just want to cuddle him."
I guess it's true that you change the more kids you have. I just didn't think it would happen so soon. I thought maybe when they were teenagers or something. Nope. Kyle and I are now officially soft as marshmallows!

Be Thou Humble

I made the mistake of letting my bishopric know that I don't turn down callings. I never have because it seems to me that if the bishopric is inspired to call you somewhere you ought not say no to the Lord!
Right?
Well, what if the bishopric feels inspired to call you to be a pianist and you don't play the piano? Are you still required to say yes? Probably. I said yes anyway. I'm terrified though. I got the schedule for the hymns for the rest of the year and I've been practicing about an hour and a half every day. It's not going well. I stumbled across this gem while I was practicing and it made me feel a little better.
"Be thou humble in thy weakness and the Lord thy God shall lead thee, Shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers. Be thou humble in thy calling and the Lord thy God shall teach thee to serve his children gladly with a pure and gentle love."
I like to cut off the end after the "Lord thy God shall teach thee." Since I'm in need of literal teaching, it speaks directly to me like this. I figure if Heavenly Father is gonna teach me how to play the piano and I'm willing to practice it can't be a complete failure.
PS. Should you have a little extra time in your prayers, remember me!

Failure?

My plan for Levi was to breastfeed him for as long as possible. My sister Ashley is my inspiration. She is just hitting the 6 month mark with her son. What a champ huh? I haven't done it longer than 6 weeks with either of the first two boys and I was determined to make it!. First off, in case you are a man, let me tell you why this is hard.
1. You must stay within 30 feet of your baby at all times. Going out of the house has to be done in one hour increments just in case the wee one gets hungry. There is always the option of pumping and storing for times when you are away from home, but then you increase the demand and therefore the supply. If you stop pumping there is too much hanging around and that's just not fun.
2. You may have to give up foods you enjoy because your baby doesn't like them.
3. Baby doesn't get as full as formula babies so you have to feed them more often.
4. Hello! That tiny bag of bones already hijacked your body for 9 months. You think once you evict him you can get it back, but the truth is he still runs the show!
5. It's supposed to help you lose weight. For me, it hinders it. I am great at dieting, but you aren't supposed to diet when you are breastfeeding.
6. Public outings. Need I say more?
So, I know there are a million reasons why breastfeeding is good for baby. Hence, why I wanted to succeed this time.
Well, last week Levi was having a super rough couple of nights. I was afraid he was getting colic. He was just miserable and needing to be held all the bloody time! One night it got really bad. I fed him twice within a one hour period because it was the only way to calm him down. My mom suggested giving him formula and I shot it down. Heck no! 5 weeks old and he hasn't touched the stuff yet! I'm doing so good. After 15 or so more minutes of crying I gave in.
What a difference. My baby was immediately happy and full and relaxed. I continued formula for a couple of days and he was happy as a clam. I decided to let the gals dry up and continue formula.
I was sad that it came to this. I had been so proud of myself. I was succeeding! But then not...
I know a lot of people judge formula moms. I have friends who would not be happy and would lecture my poor boobs into shame. But you know who is happy? Me and Levi. So there. It's not failure if both Levi and I are happier because of it.

A poopy post

So, ward campout. New ward. We love it. So welcoming and accepting. We had a ward campout this last Friday. We had decided we would just go for the activities at night and not stay over night. Things were going great. I'd met like 5 new people, the boys had made friends and I'd eaten steak. Sounds pretty perfect no?
A little area had been taped off due to a septic leak. People knew not to pitch tents there. My kids, I'm assuming thought that meant it was a designated play area. Yup. You guessed it. My boys went puddle splashing. In poop. They are the smelly children. Joy