School

This semester has been so overwhelming for me. I'm only about 6 weeks in (optimistically) but I'm already reaching my emotional breaking point. I am not sure what it is. Maybe it has to do with the classes I'm taking, maybe it has to do with being pregnant, maybe it even has to do with getting fat. I know that's a silly thing to blame a rough semester on, but anyone who has been pregnant can tell you it's a struggle every single morning to get dressed. I often wind up in sweats because I know no matter what I wear I just won't look good, or jeans that when buttoned leave a major indent in my ever expanding belly and make me uncomfortable all day. Either way I am uncomfortable or ugly all day long. I digress..
So, a few nights ago I had a major meltdown. The kind where you cry and your husband worries that you're losing your mind. My sweet hubs told me maybe I should pray for a little motivation and comfort. I told him I wasn't ready to end my pity party. I got a good laugh at myself for that. If there is anything more pathetic than having a way to fix a problem and not taking it because you enjoy your misery, I just don't know it.
Then Monday night I had another meltdown. Stupid Anthopology is trying to kill me. I like school, but I'm not a sciences person. I don't speak math and chemicals and such. UGH. I was being tested on the subject the next day and was trying desperately to figure out what the %&$#* was going on. I cried. No subject has ever made me cry. It's the first time a concept has defeated me ever. (In school I mean) I felt stupid. I HATE feeling stupid! I went to bed angry and depressed and hopeless.
Tuesday morning I wake up and decide to give it another try. I skip my first class of the day to have my mom take a stab at understanding what I am trying to do. She points out the major part I was missing and it all clicked into place. I went to school, took the test... I'm pretty sure I aced it by the way. I will tell you tomorrow if she hands the test back. Then I got feedback on my essay for an online English class. My teacher said something to the effect of "You didn't follow the instructions for the essay, but it was so well written that I didn't care." I got an A. HALLE-FREAKIN'-LUJAH! Those two things had me walking on air.
Went to math class. Learned a new concept. Figured out the problem first in the class. Had the teacher check it. Got it wrong. Crap. Couldn't figure out where I screwed up. Teacher comes back and told me I did it right. I rock again. At this point I'm pretty sure I'm border-line genius. You know, the kind that cries when they don't get something.
And now you're wondering what the point of this post is. Right? Well, so am I! I guess the point is that I'm always amazed how life seems to have perfect symmetry. One day I hate school and never want to go back because it's stupid and I'm tired. The next day I love it and can't wait to learn more.
I really do love learning. There was a good article about life long learning in the Ensign this month. Side note.
I'm rambling. Goodnight