"The Eternal Perspective of the Gospel" - Elder Rafael E. Pino

   https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/the-eternal-perspective-of-the-gospel?lang=eng

   Once again, a talk that deals with accepting the Lord's will. Or maybe that is just how I see it. Maybe all the talks seems to have that undertone to me because it is something I am so scared of. I live in fear of trials. Constantly. Irrationally. All-consumingly. I've told Kyle many times that I'm pretty sure he's going to die because God knows it's the trial that would push me over the edge. Who says things like that to their spouse? Crazy people. People who are not very strong and they know it. Crazy me. So many of these talks seem to tell me to just accept the Lord's will and not fight whatever is coming. Oh, and there is always something coming.
   I do like one of Elder Pino's analogies. He likens an eternal perspective to doing a puzzle. If you look at one piece and can't find where it goes, it may seem useless. You may even be tempted to throw it away. But once the puzzle is nearing completion you will be so glad you have it.
   I imagine myself in Heaven, looking at the puzzle of my life. Better yet, the puzzle of my soul. What if each piece is labelled? There could be charity, integrity, strength... what if there is a piece missing? What if there is a puzzle piece somewhere labelled, for instance, patience, that isn't in my puzzle? What if the puzzle is complete except a big ugly hole? Worse, what if there are several pieces missing? Accepting the Lord's will and the trials He sends me gives me an opportunity to grow through them, instead of fighting and getting angry. That is after all, why He gives us trials. He doesn't do it to watch us squirm, but to see us grow. My patriarchal blessing actually says something to this effect. I won't quote it exactly, but it says something like "Never feel that you are being punished. As the Lord watched His Son go through the trials of mortality, so He feels about your suffering." Again, very paraphrased, and very comforting. My Father in Heaven isn't leaving me to struggle alone. He is there to help me. He suffers watching me suffer. I kind of love the idea that my Heavenly Father has empathy for me. It is very personal, if you think about it. I am not an abstract idea to Him. I am His child, as much as Jesus Christ, and the only reason He lets me go through trials and struggles is because it is for the best. He could rescue me, but chooses the better path, the same as He did for His Son.
   As always, this is something that I am working on. Not just accepting of trials, but making decisions in a way that is best for my eternity, not just my mortality.