Okay, I am going out of order for this one. Someone spoke in church yesterday on this talk and I took notes. Job half done. =) This morning I am going back and reading the talk and comparing my thoughts.
My first thought was wondering what kind of ground I am. Am I stony ground? Stony ground is those who accept the Gospel but aren't truly converted; they are those who when faced with trials, fall away and are scorched. I've always been worried that I wasn't truly converted. My patriarchal blessing says it is a necessity for me personally. I've wondered before if I would leave the church if it wasn't for my family, specifically my husband. And I've always been glad not to find out. However, when I read the definition of the stony ground, I think I am doing better than I've given myself credit for. When faced with trials I certainly don't turn from Heavenly Father, but rather straight to Him.
Am I a thorny ground gal? I kind of think we all are. Thorny ground folks are those who hear the Word, accept it, but then struggle with the cares and riches of the world. I am going to leave riches off of there because there is no point beating that dead horse. We all know the love of money pulls you away from the Lord. But what about cares? Does that have to be money? Couldn't it just be that you care what your friends think of you? Or that you care to have fun, rather than be a true disciple. Can't cares just be the regular hustle and bustle of a busy life? Being a mom to four kids is enough for me to struggle with reading my scriptures and getting in a prayer more than once a day. What about people with high pressure jobs? Jesus tells Peter that he is an offence to Him, and to "get behind me, Satan." because of his cares of the world. Peter was his chief apostle, the rock upon which Jesus was going to build his church, and still, he was tempted enough to be called Satan by Jesus. You don't have to be a bad person to struggle with this. You just have to be in this world.
The most important thing I pulled from the thorny ground, is the need for spiritual feeding. The best way to keep those thorns from choking us, is to be continually taking care. I am certainly trying harder to do that. My hiatus from church (for vacations and such, not inactivity) really taught me a lesson earlier this year. I felt my testimony struggle. We need to take care that we don't allow ourselves to be choked by the thorns. It doesn't happen without our consent.
I wouldn't go so far as to say I am a good ground that brings up good fruit. I would say I am sort of a mix of all the grounds. I am someone whose testimony could be stronger, who needs continual care, but who also tries. I am not perfect. But I am not a seed who fell by the wayside either.
This talk was really good for me because it gave me insight into myself. Elder Holland (in a different talk) said something to the effect of doubt your doubts before you doubt what you know. I've always magnified my doubts and small, seedling of a testimony instead of the things that I do know. After reading Elder Oaks' definition of the stony ground I am actually really happy to find that I'm doing okay.
And now, for a bonus, verse 3 of How Firm a Foundation. We sang it in church yesterday and it was so beautiful, my eyes welled up. Okay, that happens almost anytime I hear music, but still.
Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
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