Dear inventor of Halloween?

Were you a chubby chaser?
Sincerely,
My pants no longer fit.

A Poison Tree

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.

And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.

And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright.
And my foe beheld it shine.
And he knew that it was mine,

And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree

William Blake

"Your son saved Sacrament meeting"

Every member of the church knows that sometimes testimony meetings go awry. Sometimes you get thank-imonies, story-monies, and please-help-me-monies. We had a few testimonies today that lost their track and veered to the over sharing side. We heard about someone "shacking up", and someone's cereal, and about someone's mother-in-law. 

About a month ago, Caleb asked if he could bear his testimony at church. We spent the month's family home evenings teaching him the proper things to say and the proper way to say them. Today he went up and bore his testimony. He has a very simple, beautiful testimony. He knew the points he wanted to make and was very clear about his beliefs.

After church the first counselor in our bishopric told me "Your son saved sacrament meeting. He fixed what had been done before him."

What a sweet thing to say. It made me so grateful for simple testimonies of children.

Sisters.

My husband is the love of my life, my eternity, my everything.

But...

My sisters are my soul mates.

Blessings

We did father's blessings tonight, in preparation for the first day of school. Adam and Caleb both had giggles for who knows what reason. I was so frustrated that I threatened to ground them. 

After Caleb's blessing, Levi popped right out of his seat and said "My turn!" He was so ready for his blessing. Kyle and I both smiled and he gave him one. I am so grateful for a little boy who feels the spirit even through older boys being dingalings. He's always been that way. A little more in tune to the spirit than the others. It reminds me of the first time he met Lily. They were all at the hospital for the first time with her. Adam and Caleb glanced at her and moved on to their more important things. Levi was so emotional. He just crumbled and hugged her face for the longest time. It was the sweetest thing.

He saved father's blessings for me tonight. I was so angry and my sweet baby brought back the nice feeling you want instead. I love him.

Oh my cuteness!

Have you ever seen anything this adorable?

A typical Conversation

Kyle was getting his hair stuff out to give himself a haircut. I said "Lily, should we give you a haircut?"
Kyle, "NO!"
Christina, "But she has a mullet..."
In unison, (I promise you, that's not a lie, we often break into song at the exact same moment, the exact same song.) "Let it grow, let it grow, like it did so long ago-o-o."
Christina, "Should we turn on the Lorax so we can listen to the music while you do your hair?"
Kyle, "Yes."
Christina, "Do you think that makes us weird?"
Kyle, "No, I think we're awesome."

It's true. We're pretty awesome. Just an FYI for those reading my blog, I keep it so I can remember. I love going back once I've forgotten. I love that I have a collection of memories Gotta go, the Thneedville song is on and it's the best one!

Ursaphobia

Most people have at least one phobia that just scares the life out of them. Fear of spiders is a common one...

Not so common is bear-phobia. It might sound ridiculous, nonetheless, it's very real! The sad part is I love camping! Right now it's 1 AM. Of a group of 30 campers, I am one of four awake. 3 of the men are playing Risk at the picnic table. Me? I'm listening to every creek, every breath, every whisper around us.

 We've had sightings of bears twice already this trip. Once, the rangers were around and scared them away. On their way back one remarked that they needed to be sure they took a hand held (gun) next time because that mother bear was awful feisty. Not the kind of thing I want to hear. 

People keep telling me that Benadryl and ear plugs are the way to get sleep while camping. I tell them, "if I'm going to be attacked by a bear, I need to have my wits about me." They keep saying the bears are harmless. Oh yeah? Then why do the rangers need a gun?! This is the third night of camping. I'm exhausted. I am positive I won't be sleeping though. Yet again...

Caffeine

Oh Caffeine, you little minx,

my dependence on you stinks.

I hate the way I love your zip

And always crave a tiny nip.

I hate the way I think I need you;

I hate the way I always heed you.

But, without you my days all fail;

It is a sad and awful tale.

I lay in bed; I watch TV;

I miss my magic energy.

Eventually I think I'll quit,

Say "Goodbye! This is it!"

And then I'm sure I'll need a nap

Without my special little zap.

Arms

I think Levi had a weird dream last night. He came into my room around 3 AM and kept talking about having an arm on his shoulder. I reassured him that yes there was an arm coming out of his shoulder...

But he hasn't dropped it. "There's an arm on my shoulder." And most recently, "where's mine other arm? I have these two... Where's the other one?"

What kind of dreams does this kid have? Is he a three armed alien?

What a weird dude.

Hyenas

My kids, particularly Adam and Caleb, (and then particularly Adam) have entered a new phase in life. It is the stage of the hyenas. Have you ever watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Well in it there are cartoon hyenas. The only way to kill most "toons" is with a nasty dip, but hyenas have a second way; they can laugh themselves to death.

If my kids had been drawn, they'd be dead.

Everything is funny. Eating, showering, of course the bathroom, somehow sleeping is hilarious. It is driving me crazy! I can't even discipline them because they get the giggles halfway through. They are ridiculous! 

And while its driving me crazy, how can I, as a parent, request that they stop laughing? How can I make a house mandate that giggling is outlawed? Take away their toys, force them to wear black and never smile? Seems wrong... 

I can't be upset that they are happy kids, but the truth is if their laughing is killing anyone, it's me.

8 years. 100 reasons.

Last year for my and Kyle's anniversary I wrote him a list of 49 things I loved about him. It's not a random number by the way, it was 7x7. (Not just cause I couldn't think of a 50th) I didn't think to add to the list till just last night, but I might have to add to it every year. Maybe just by 10s or something... It might be a nice running list to keep.

This year for our anniversary we didn't do anything super special, but the truth is, any time with Kyle is special. He is my very most favorite person/place/thing in the world. Being married to him and having a family with him is amazing. it is the greatest joy of my life. I just told him yesterday I hope we're married 72 more years and then die within an hour of each other. That might sound strange and morbid, but I'm kind of strange and morbid so I think it's beautiful! Plus I think he'd make an adorable 102 year old...

FHE quote

Talking about the Ten Commandments tonight, I asked the boys what they thought "Thou shalt not bear false witness" means.

Caleb said "don't steal bears from your neighbors?"

:)

Conversation

Levi: "daddy don't be rude to Lily."

Kyle: "I'm just telling her no."

Levi: "but she's my sister."

May have welled up at the protectiveness of my not-even-three year old...

Proud moment

My sweet Adam finished his first chapter book. It was 220 pages. He's 6. I'm pretty proud of him. Kyle isn't much for a reader, so I've always worried that my kids are gonna be little athletes who don't care for reading. I'm very happy to be wrong! I went right out and bought the second book in the series. I don't care that its an expensive habit; It's one worth having. I'm so excited that the library is around the corner from our house. Can't wait to walk there and pick new books out in the summer. My children are gonna be educated! Hallelujah!

Update: bought Adam #2 of the series and he's read 104 pages in 3 days. Looks like I'll be buying a book a week. A very expensive habit indeed. And I'm kind of jealous. I want a new book every week!

Mrs. Lonely

Ahhhhh. Just found out ANOTHER one of my friends is pregnant. I and my empty uterus feel so alone and barren... 

My Mom

Mother's Day is coming up. I've never really given it too much thought. I love my mom. She knows. We're good right?
Being a mom to 4 kids changes things though. My entire life is dedicated to them; every penny is spent on them, my every waking hour (and at least half of my sleeping ones) are full of them.
My mom had 7 kids. I'm sorry; my mom HAS 7 kids. I can't imagine how she dealt. Well, yes I can actually. She put her life on hold. Raising kids and doing everything she could for them was her life. She was constantly in the car driving us who knows where; probably to a ballet class. Or voice lessons. Whatever it was, it was for our enrichment and it wasn't cheap.
I have a couple of specific memories of my childhood that I'm going to write down. Should I ever be tempted to take her for granted, I have them here to remind me.
The first one is of scripture study in the morning. We sat around the table for breakfast. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I ate cereal in the morning, something my poor kids do every day. As we ate, we took turns reading from the Book of Mormon. We each had our own copy that stayed in the window sill by the table. I've often wanted to follow that example, but I have no idea how we did it. It is a remarkable feat to have scripture study in the morning with the entire family. To have that in a family requires a mother with a strong testimony and commitment to the gospel. She has to care about her children enough to fight their complaining and introduce them to habits that are hard to maintain. I can barely drag my butt out of bed to get my kids off to school. Imagine her dedication!
My next one starts around a kitchen table as well. We had water fights. Someone would throw a glass of water. It didn't matter who started it. Soon everyone would be in on it. The water is flying in the kitchen, we get to the back door, we continue outside. I don't remember cleaning up one single cup of thrown water. Can you imagine letting your 7 children make a bathtub of your kitchen? What a nightmare. She has way more patience than I do!
Lastly, I have Galena. I don't speak to a specific memory here, but to all of it. My parents spent thousands of dollars every year for the experiences we got. We got to travel and participate in some amazing things. I was in the national fourth of July parade in Washington DC one year. I got to go on cruises and perform in a way that usually only professionals get to do. They spent money that they could have been saving for a rainy day. Rainy days are upon all and I don't think my parents regret one penny of it. My mom made spent hours upon hours of sewing to make sure we had updated costumes. She worked her butt off planning tour and working finances to fulfill her volunteer hours.
These three memories are the tip of the iceberg. I chose them because they are examples of specific things given to us by my parents that my mom had a huge part in. She blessed our lives by trying to instill a love of the gospel in us, she let us have fun and be children, she dedicated her time and money to making sure that we had the very best possible opportunities.
My mom continues to do whatever she can for her kids. Her role has changed as we've grown into adults and had our own families, but she is still there for any one of us that needs her. Her role now is taking care of our dad more than anything. How amazing that she has any energy left! I am personally so grateful that dad has her. She is a caregiver like no other I've seen. She loves him so unconditionally that it's enough to make my eyes well up just writing about it.
Her life has been and continues to be her family. What a great example she is to me and all my siblings who were so lucky to have her.

Friends

A friend of mine said to me yesterday: "Thanks for playing today! Hanging out with you makes me feel better and feel like I want to be a better person."

I'm not going to lie to you... I was in shock. Just two minutes earlier my husband had said I made too many sex jokes. (Sorry for the TMI, but we were talking about if our spouses became quadriplegics. Someone said they didn't know how they'd deal with not being able to have their husband touch them. Um... basically, I got described my ideas and how they'd work. Anyone that knows me knows I have a creative mind...)

I digress.

I asked how in the world I make her want to be better. She said it's apparent that the gospel is a part of my life every day and that I renew her desire to grow spiritually. I think that's the best compliment I've ever gotten. This friend knows my life better than most people. She knows the things I'm good at, but I also talk to her about the things that defeat me. She knows my biggest struggles and the things I need to improve. It was pretty amazing to have someone know me so well and see the best outweigh the bad.

It was a good lesson for me. Kyle thinks I give people the benefit of the doubt too much. The truth is the opposite. I'm way too judgmental. Once someone has disappointed me, I tend to dwell and stay disappointed for far too long. The bad darkens my view of someone and who they could be. It is a weakness I've been working on. Heaven knows I would not want people to dwell on my mistakes. They'd never like me! We're counseled to "judge not, lest ye be judged."

Another one of my friends shared a very spiritual experience of hers last night. It was something that had given her peace in her time of struggles. I could feel the Spirit so strong and was amazed at the outcome of a girls' night.

I'm grateful for my friends and the good they bring to my life. In telling me that I make her want to be a better person, my friend has had the same effect on me and I think that's pretty amazing.

Hehe

Kyle was hanging out with Lily on the bed watching TV. I came in and he said "Putian (Lily) is very upset. I don't know why, she won't talk to me."
That's all. I giggled and didn't want to forget that. :)

Men vs. Women

I had a baby 8 months ago. I know that seems like a long time, but it may as well have been yesterday. I'm still struggling with baby fat. Every day I work out; I eat less; I try not to think about food.
My sweet husband on the other hand has been working out to put on some muscle.
I would like to tell you about our midnight snacks. We are watching TV and here's what we're eating:

Kyle:
2 things of Greek yogurt
1 banana
1 ice cream bar

Me:
Carrots

Thank you Eve.

Girls

I see a common trend, one that I am a part of. 3 sons, then a daughter. I have to wonder at the Almighty's plan behind it. Does he give us 3 boys first to get us ready for the madness of one tiny baby girl? Or is it that if we all had daughters first we would have no more children? Certainly if Lily was first I might not have the number I do. She tries my patience and sanity in ways 3 boys never did. Right now I am sitting next to her crib. She is quiet. Because I am within a two foot radius of her. Her face is still splotchy red from screaming. I imagine if someone were to inspect the inside of my head right now the same colors of chaos, maybe mixed with angry black would be all they saw. Gotta go. Accidentally moved out of eye line and set the beast off again.

Teaching Children to see the Savior's Face

I had to give a talk a few weeks ago in church. I didn't want to lose it, so here it is. You don't have to read it if you aren't interested. I don't know that I'd read someone's talk... One of my favorite TV shows right now is the Big Bang Theory. The theme song for the show has a rapid succession of pictures that starts from the Beginning of the world all the way down through modern times. Caleb was by me one day while the show was on and he yelled “I see Jesus!” I had no idea what he was talking about. He was really excited and yelled again, “On TV, I saw Jesus!” I hadn’t even seen it. The images go by so fast I thought there was no way he could even tell what they were. So we rewound and paused several times to get it to just the right image. Sure enough, there He was. I was impressed that Caleb had even known the painting as it flashed by. It wasn’t one he’d seen before, but he could recognize the Savior’s face. We have several pictures of the Savior in our home. Our children see Him everyday as they eat their meals and every night when they go to sleep. They recognize Him, but do they know Him? Christ’s message on earth was to come to him, seek Him, get to know Him, and ultimately to follow Him. We’ve been taught as adults how to do that. We need to read our scriptures. We need to pray. We need to attend church. As parents and teachers, we have been entrusted with the Lord’s children. It is our sacred responsibility to teach them and bring them to the Savior. Joseph Smith recorded this revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants. Speaking of the saints he says “They shall teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord.” This command also comes with a pretty harsh warning. He tells us, “inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Jesus Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.” I don’t know about you, but that’s kind of scary to me. The scriptures, particularly the Book of Mormon, are full of histories that outline the importance of properly taught children. The very first verse in the Book of Mormon says “I Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father.” and goes on from there. Nephi’s parents had given him a great foundation of truth. When Lehi’s vision was recounted, Nephi wanted to know the truth of it himself. From his parents he knew to turn to the Lord in prayer, seeking an answer, and having faith that he would receive it. The armies of Helamen were known for their valiance and obedience passed down from their mothers. Another great example is Joseph Smith. Young Joseph was very much like Nephi; He wanted to know the truth of the Gospel. Lucky for him, and all of us, his parents had taught him to pray. So, how do we, as parents and teachers, bring our children to the Savior? The first and most important thing we can each do, is have a knowledge and love of the Savior ourselves. We need to go beyond a testimony and truly seek to be converted ourselves. Elder Bednar said “True conversion brings a change in one’s beliefs, heart, and life to accept and conform to the will of God and includes a conscious commitment to become a disciple of Christ. Seeking for and obtaining a testimony of spiritual truth requires asking, seeking, and knocking with a sincere heart, real intent, and faith in the Savior. Fundamental components of a testimony are knowing that Heavenly Father lives and loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Savior, and that the fullness of the gospel has been restored to the earth in these latter days.” Once we have a testimony or are converted to the gospel ourselves, we live the principles we know to be true. We becomes examples to our children. They are always watching. They learn much more from what we do than they ever could from what we say. If they see us reading the scriptures, praying, doing our home and visiting teaching, and having charity for those around us, they will see the Lord through us. They will ask us questions, and have a desire to know what we profess to be true. Those are also easy opportunities to involve them. Take them home teaching or let them help in a service project. The more actively children participate in the gospel, the better. Lastly, of course, is teaching. In this most recent conference Elder Quentin L Cook said “Parents, the days are long past when regular, active participation in Church meetings and programs, though essential, can fulfill your sacred responsibility to teach your children to live moral, righteous lives and walk uprightly before the Lord.” And he’s right. The adversary isn’t after our children only on Sunday. He doesn’t take time off from trying to claim our children. Neither should we take time off from teaching them. Family Home Evening, family prayer, scripture study and gospel discussions can’t happen too frequently in our homes. Earlier this week, I had a practice what you preach moment in my home. My children were getting in bed for the night. They were sick and miserable. They wanted comfort and asked if I would read them a book. I had already turned the lights out so I told them I would share a story instead. I didn’t really know the direction I was going to go. Usually I just read them Harry Potter. I thought about what fairy tale I could tell that would help them go to sleep. My stories are generally a little on the louder, more boisterous side, which wouldn’t really help. While I was trying to come up with something, Levi said “about Jesus.” It was very humbling to me having my two year old remind me to teach. I told the story of the Jesus calming the tempest. It was actually really fun to hear my kids’ reaction. Adam had no idea that the Savior could, in his words, “control the earth.” His reaction was something like “woah.” Something I find myself forgetting to do, is bearing my own testimony. Our children need to know that we believe what we are telling them. My husband likes to emphasize HOW he came to his testimony and I think this is a really good practice. As opposed to saying “I know the church is true.” we should be saying “I know the church is true because...” By sharing how we acquired our testimony, we invite others to follow our example in obtaining it. The manner in which we teach our children is of vital importance. At Christmas time I read the New Testament for the first time. During the Savior’s mortal ministry, he spent most of His time teaching the apostles. My favorite apostle is Peter. He reminds me of me. He has to hear every lesson repeatedly for it to sink in. He forgets and he fails a lot, no offence to Peter. Jesus gives him the opportunity to walk on water. Halfway through, even though he is staring the Savior in the face, he has doubts and begins to sink. When Christ is suffering in the garden of Gethsemane, Peter falls asleep. Twice. Worst of all, he three times denies knowing Jesus. Through it all, Jesus is so very patient with him. He repeats himself over and over and He constantly shows his love for Peter. We need to be as patient with our children. They are so little and tender. And their attention spans are ridiculously short. With Easter around the corner, I think of the opportunities we sometimes miss to minister to our children. How often do we trade stories of the Savior for egg hunts, elaborate feasts, or presents? Those of course, are great traditions that we enjoy, but they need to be used as tools to teach and remember. This past Christmas, I did an advent calendar with my kids. This is a calendar with fun things to do every day to really enjoy December. We did fun things like drink hot chocolate, make cards, and watch movies. As I was preparing my calendar, and looking for ideas online, I ran across an advent calendar on lds.org. It was scriptures for every day in December; stories of Christ’s life and ministry. It was a great instrument to make sure our focus was where it needed to be over Christmas. Does that mean we actually read the scriptures every day? Nope. What it does mean is that the few times I remembered, my kids got to learn about Christ. The church gives us access to so many wonderful tools, if we will look for them. LDS.org has all the manuals and ideas we could possible want. There are apps designed so we have learning right in our pocket at all times. if your kids are anything like mine, they can sing you any radio hit you name. Why not put on primary songs they sing along to instead? I also love the Book of Mormon readers. Adam just learned to read and I find him curled up with it more often than I can take credit for. The greatest weapon in our arsenal is, of course, prayer. The Lord is willing to give us help and direction as often as we ask for it. No amount of reading parenting books can give us the same level of knowledge that the Lord can. One of my favorite quotes from conference came from Elder Anderson. He said, "the wisdom of the world, while in many cases very valuable, is most valuable when it humbly bows to the wisdom of God." The Lord knows our weaknesses. He doesn’t expect perfection in our lives because he knows we will come short. Sometimes, I have terrible mom guilt. I see other moms taking their kids to museums and parks and doing activities every other day and I feel like a big, fat failure. If you add the occasional forgetting of family prayer or Family Home Evening to that, I’m all but sure I’m screwing my kids up. The good news is, because of the Atonement, our honest, best efforts will do. The Lord, through His Holy Spirit, will teach our children things that we can’t. He will confirm truth to their hearts. All we have to do is get them to the point where they are open to hearing and accepting that truth. I had an experience recently in the temple. My husband and I were sitting together in the Celestial room, and I got a glimpse of what the Celestial Kingdom would be like. He and I would be together and our children, along with their families, would be nearby. It was such a happy, peaceful feeling imagining all of us there in the Savior’s presence. Until I imagined anyone missing. My spirit plummeted. What if a member of my family wasn’t there? I can’t imagine the heart ache of that. In fact, I sat there and bawled like a baby. My hope for all of us is that we may do our part to bring our children with us. May we give them a desire to know the Savior and teach them how to do it. My testimony is a very simple one. I know the Savior. Though my study, prayers, and mostly, my ever necessary repentance, I have come to recognize His face. King Benjamin said, “I would that you should be steadfast and immovable, that Christ, The Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his.” I look forward with great hope to the day that the Lord will claim me, along with my children, as His.

Gospel doctrine

Last Sunday I was asked to read a scripture in my gospel doctrine class. I read.
Crushed it.
There was a follow up question.
Is it just me, or does being asked a question feel like a spiritual pop quiz? "And you, how would you respond to this?"
Well, honestly, I was concentrating on speaking loudly and clearly. I wanted the folks in the back to hear me. I didn't actually pay attention, but thanks for asking.
Another problem for me is I don't articulate well on the fly. I need a few seconds to work out how to say what I wanted to say.
The worst part was after fumbling for an answer and sweating the teacher joked that he was going to move me to the back row. Thanks.
Pop quiz failed.

A prayer for my children

I read a great scripture today. I marked it, but didn't want to lose it, or forget my feelings. It is a great prayer for my children. I wish I was as eloquent as king Benjamin. I don't know how anyone could listen to him and not feel the Spirit. Anyway, the scripture is Mosiah 5:15
"Therefore, I would that he should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, The Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that you may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen."
Right? Can't tell me that's not a good scripture. It tells you exactly what is required and the promise for doing it. I think my favorite part is "that Christ... May seal you his." I feel that in my studies recently I've grown so much closer to The Lord that the idea of Him claiming me is quite comforting. Sometimes I have a terrible feeling of homesickness and of missing my heavenly parents. This scripture, to me, is a reminder that I just need to do my part. They are there waiting to claim me.

Sting

Adam got his first bee sting today. They called from school to let me know. I know this sounds silly, a bee sting isn't that traumatic after all, but I'm a little bit heart broken at the thought of him dealing with it at school without me. Who is going to hug and kiss my little prince until he feels better?
I know it's a bee sting and not a bullet, but he's six! He needs his mommy. And maybe... Just maybe, I need to know that he's okay...

Update: he got home. He's fine. It was more traumatic for me. He and Caleb reminded me that Caleb was stung last year camping. How do I not remember that?

Quotes

I have been finding quotes that speak to me a lot recently. I don't know why. Maybe I'm reading more. Anyway, I try to make sure I don't lose them; I take pictures of them on my phone, I underline them, I repeat them till they are committed to memory. But the truth is, my memory is the pits recently. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my shoulders. So, I've decided to put them here. First comes from the Bible "If God be for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31 I want to make a plaque for my house with this on it. I just love it! Also, it's not the whole verse, just the important part. The second one was from general conference. "Distancing yourself from the kingdom of God during a trial of faith is like leaving the safety of a secure storm cellar just as the tornado comes into view." -Neil L Anderson I'm not having any major life altering trials right now, but I have had a few in my day. I know that Satan uses our trials to pull us away from our Heavenly Father. I'll give him credit. He's pretty good at what he does. We often feel like God isn't pulling through for us. "We've been good, why are we being punished?" mentality is crippling to a lot of people. It seems like going to church isn't paying off and praying isn't getting us what we want. It's so much easier to be angry and turn away than it is to endure to the end. Honestly, I have no idea how I came across this one. I don't regularly read Doctrine and Covenants, but at some point in the past two weeks I came across this one. "Listen to him who is the advocate with the Father, who is pleading your cause before him." -Doctrine and Covenants 45:3 I just really like the wording in this one. Jesus is our advocate and is PLEADING for us. Kind of like the one from Romans, this one speaks to me because it tells me I've got Jesus in my corner. Almost done here. Stay with me. "We must not be so ready to fancy ourselves intentionally injured." -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice A lot of people need to read that one. Lots of people I know... And lastly, "the wisdom of the world, while in many cases very valuable, is most valuable when it humbly bows to the wisdom of God." -Neil L Anderson Didn't know I liked Neil so much, but I read this one and it screamed at me. I spend a lot of time educating myself. I read a lot, both things secular and religious. I wonder things like how creationism works out when you consider evolution. I don't quite understand how God and science fit together in some instances. I wonder, but I don't despair or doubt. I figure there's just a lot I get to find out when I get to Heaven and if I worry too much about trying to piece it together now, I'll ruin the surprise. I don't want that. Anyway, these are the quotes I wanted to save and the reasons I liked them. I hope you liked them too!

2013

I can't find my goals for 2012. If there is no record of them, they didn't happen. So I didn't fail, correct? If a goal fails in the woods and all that? Right? Actually I had a pretty good year. Not to toot my own horn, but I rocked 2012! I was sort of hoping the Mayans were right because this would have been a good year to go out on. I can never be sure what the future holds and how well I'm going to perform on things pertaining to spirituality. Had the Savior come in December I don't think I would have been too scared. I was ready! Here's to holding it together and improving, always improving, until the Second Coming. What improvements need making this year? Glad you asked. I have to write them down otherwise I don't hold myself accountable (as evidenced above). This year will bring: 1. Not the most important of course, but I have to lose my Lily weight. My diet even has a tagline. All good goals should. It is "lingerie by Valentine's Day." Yup, that just happened. I make no apologies for the occasional TMI you will find here. 2. Read the New Testament. I started just in November and I'm already to Romans, so it's very doable. However, after Jesus dies it does lose some of its luster. 3. Feed the missionaries once a month. (Gotta have those examples for the kiddos). 4. Go to the temple once a month. I am ashamed to say, I spend a lot of 2012 with an expired recommend. Yikes! Visited the Bishopric and Stake men and I am up to date and ready to bring happiness to some dead folks. 5. This is actually going to be the hardest to keep. It is to cut out the junk food my boys eat. Not all, of course. I'm not one of those moms. Good for them, but I don't have it in me. I am going to not give my kids candy or desserts during the week (FHE not included). They can have some on weekends, but right now they expect a treat everytime they eat their whole meal or do something right. It drives me crazy and I am expecting my children will all be toothless soon. 6. Caleb needs to be a fluent reader by Dec 31, 2013. 7. Write. I don't know what yet. A book? A journal? A random list of thoughts too ridiculous to ever see the light of day? Who knows. The point is, I enjoy writing and I got a new laptop for Christmas. The equation looks like this: Love of writing + New laptop = amazing novel (If anyone has an idea for one I'd love to hear it cause I'm drawing a blank.) I didn't really set a number of goals. I figured I could write until I can't think of any more. These goals are the only ones I can come up with at the moment. It could be because It's 1 AM and I just got home from a trip to Utah. 11 hour car rides turn my brain to mush. Goodnight and Good luck!